I am Paul by the way. I’m an architect, designer and writer from Cornwall, England. I work professionally as an architect and have done for almost fifteen years. I design and build furniture and speakers among other things. You can follow me on Instagram here.
The first thing I think when I am writing this is I wonder where you are and what time it is whilst you are reading this. How are you feeling? And what has happened in your life that has made you so uniquely you? Well, wherever you are or whoever you are, welcome. Good morning, good afternoon or good evening.Â
It’s a sunny Saturday morning in England as I write this. Which as some of you know is a rare occasion. Whilst I’m very happy about the good weather, I’m more interested in where you are. What is the room like that you’re sitting in reading this and what the hell has been going on with you? I say this because, much like many other of the authors here, it seems good and appropriate to sum up ‘the now’. What’s been on your mind lately and why? Well, Isn’t that a big question? Where do I start?
Above all else, I’ve had a distinct sense that time is going both slowly and so fast. I’m getting so much done but also getting nothing done at all. This reminds me of the fragility of life. But also, how important it is to recognise that we all hold multiple truths. You can think one thing and say another. You can believe something and do something else. And do you know what? That’s fine. Because in a way none of it matters, but in another way, it matters so much. Life is full of irony and contradictions and perhaps the more we recognise this, the more we can enjoy life. That is my theory for today. You might disagree and that’s ok because agreeing with everything is boring and who wants to live a boring life?
I apologise If I sound like a cheap online therapist. I wanted to take the opportunity today to share some snippets of my upcoming book with you ‘Fear from the Nineties’. Not as an activity or exercising my ego, but in the hope that I can provide you with a moment of self-reflection. Because let’s be honest, everyone is an author slash artist slash CEO these days. I’m not here to impress anybody. Although, I do love the idea that my work can be a vehicle for others to figure out their path and perhaps provide a little entertainment along the way.
Something I am always distinctly aware of is the throwaway culture that we live in today. Don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of it I think are amazing. Anyone anywhere in the world can listen, read and learn about anything twenty-four hours a day with a phone or laptop and a wi-fi connection. That reminds me, my favourite way to consume books or music is in small parts. I want to be able to pick it up and put it down at any time. Maybe that’s because I have an awful attention span or I’m just outright lazy. Either way, this letter will be set out in a way that will allow you to get straight to do just that – get to the part that interests you and skip the rest. I want to take the opportunity to celebrate femininity, talk about love and quash the myth of perfectionism amongst other things. My notes include the following subjects with some additional notes to help find what's relevant to you (notes overload):
Notes on reframing (how to get shit done)
The universal truths of love (for those reflecting on love, heartbreak and past relationships)
Femininity: its Source, its Power (a reminder to the amazing women reading this that you are innately beautiful and powerful– even if you don’t realise it)
Action over thinking and anti-perfectionism (words for those creatives and business owners who are struggling to finish project and achieve their goals)Â
These notes (not all) are taken from my book ‘Fear from the Nineties’. Let me give you a brief overview of the book and what it’s about.
SynopsisÂ
"Fear from the Nineties" is a poignant collection of essays offering a deeply personal perspective on the intersection of technology, culture, and the human experience. Born out of the author's own reflections and observations, these essays serve as a diary of everyday thoughts and experiences, capturing a unique journey through the modern world.
Growing up in the nineties, the author reminisces on a time when technology was not the dominating force it is today, and privacy still held value. Through the lens of their own life experiences, they explore how technology has reshaped society, often inducing existential crises and prompting profound questions about humanity's place in an increasingly digitised world. As the narrative unfolds, it becomes evident that the landscape of their upbringing has dramatically shifted, giving rise to a profound contemplation of the impact of technology, culture, and design on contemporary society.
A word of appreciation
So, I guess you are wondering where or how I met Iman. I know that everyone has a brilliant story about their first encounter with Iman. She seems to have a similar impact on everyone’s lives and that’s one of many reasons why I’m very thankful to call her one of my best friends. I met Iman in 2015 in an alley next to a pub in Peckham, South London. The Victoria Inn to be exact. I saw a pretty girl with a pin-up girl tattooed on her forearm smoking a cigarette. She looked cool and had a big grin on her face. We got talking (and smoking) and the rest is history. Iman has been somewhat of a constant in my life for the last decade. She is without a doubt one of the kindest, most caring and brilliant persons I’ve ever met. I mean that sincerely. She has a unique ability to make everything better, no matter how you feel at the time. Always forgiving and always there to make you laugh. I mean, you couldn’t ask for a better friend. Thank you for always reigniting my excitement for life and giving me the confidence to plug on. As we all know, life isn’t easy, but Iman certainly makes the world a better place. So, thank you, Iman.
Hello world
If you are still with me, I am Paul by the way. I’m an architect, designer and writer from Cornwall, England. I work professionally as an architect and have done for almost fifteen years. I design and build furniture and speakers among other things. I also write and have written a book which you are reading today. Although I don’t call myself a writer– not in the pub anyway. I don’t write out of self-importance or because I feel that my ideas or thoughts are better than anyone else. I hate the idea that people think I have the power or knowledge to be a writer. That’s not the case. I write because it allows me to organise my thoughts. Ultimately it allows me to make sense of the world. And what I’ve come to learn is that in some way or another everything creative I do allows me to make sense of the world. Therefore, I hope that you can take something away from my work which allows you to make sense of something big or small. No matter what it is. Â
Notes of reframing
Something I’ve recently conquered is the age-old concept of reframing things. I know you’ve heard it all before but hear me out. You may have tried it, and it might not have worked for you and that happened to me too. But I recently discovered that if you can reframe it in the right way for you at the right time and place it makes getting things done that have been on your list to do from 4 months ago SO much easier. The trick is you often will not discover the right method of reframing a certain task the first time. You will have to try various ‘frames’ to find the one that works for you. But when it works it's a game changer.
The universal truths of loveÂ
Love is not something that can be learned. Nor can it be seen outside of obvious displays of affection. It has to be felt. You have to see for yourself.
Perhaps it would be easy and nostalgic for me to relay my love life to you as a series of short stories and anecdotes in an attempt to connect the dots and establish a rapport with you. And maybe I could laugh and cry, smoke a cigarette, have a glass of wine whilst I'm there and take a real trip down memory lane. But, that would certainly be nostalgic for me and most likely quite uninteresting to you. Not to mention very self-indulgent. And by all accounts, Love is the epitome of indulgence.
Experiencing love, I’m sure, feels very personal and unique to every one of us. It is a universal experience with universal truths. It is these universal truths which can help us to better understand the abstract nature of the topic at hand.
The Universal truths of love:It's not all good or bad, it just is.
The first time you hear that song you’ve heard a hundred times, but all of a sudden it sounds different– it all makes sense.
The first time you feel a deep-numbing sense of sadness– heartbreak.There is a big difference between love and lust. One can be easily confused with the other.
Your first love hurts the most– so you think. Eventually, you grow up and one day look back with fondness and a smile.
With all of the joy and fun it brings. Pain and sadness come in equal measure.
There is a fine line between being loyal and sacrificing one's happiness.
Never take someone's time and energy for granted– nothing lasts forever.
People and their situations change. That is a given. What keeps you together is compromise and a willingness to be together.
From experience, the old saying rings true– 'All is fair in love and war.’ Communication and honesty are foundational.Fear will always be present– learn to embrace it rather than letting it control you.The sensation of love defies all logic of space and time– don't let it run away with you.
Every moment counts. Give them everything you’ve got but don't give up yourself in the process.
Tell them everything but keep some for yourself.
It can bring you a new lease of life. But don't rely on it to provide you with happiness alone.
Do not neglect those closest to you.
Always tell those you love that you love them as much as you can– you never know what tomorrow may bring.
If you go looking for love you will not find it. Focus on happiness and healing and love will find you.
Good sex does not mean that you are compatible– a healthy relationship is multifaceted.
Love often comes in ways and at times in which we least expect it.
Much like life, love is full of contradictions.
You must be vulnerable in order to create a meaningful and long-lasting bond.
We all have an existential desire to find the truth. The closest we can get to the truth, in a physical sense, is by experiencing true love.
Femininity: its Source, its Power
Yes, I stole the title from Joane Didion. Her seminal essay ‘Self-respect: its source, its Power’ which was first published in Vogue during the summer of 1961 and later republished as ‘On self-respect’ in 1968 as part of the author's collection of essays called ‘Slouching Towards Bethlehem’. I edited the title to replace self-respect with femininity. Not to be political or suggest any hidden agenda, or because they are linked in any way, but because it is my belief, much like the authors, that femininity is a source, its power.
Femininity is often discussed in the context of gender. Although, as you will come to realise, it is something more than meets the eye- something broad, complex and deeply moving. The most tangible way to describe what femininity is starts with a feeling. At times, an all-encompassing sensation which is deeply comforting, and at other times chaotic and visceral. At its core something which is truly powerful.
After walking miles along the rivers and seas of my home in Devon-England, attempting to piece together an idea which could reflect a subject so abstract and profound. It became clear to me, that much like the feeling of love, care and connection we receive from perceived femininity. From life experiences in and around romance and motherhood, we also receive similar sensations from what I call divine moments of connection. Be it something as mundane as looking into the sky, observing a masterpiece or simply walking in nature. Perhaps the air of femininity is better portrayed through a series of images and moments. A series of moments and events in my life which serve as poignant reminders of how everything in life is inextricably connected.
Femininity in a series of moments
The moment a butterfly lands on top of your hand, and for some reason, for a split second, a feeling of deep happiness and comfort comes over you. Why? Because, you sense that somehow, this may be a sign that someone you lost, to death or love, is still here with you in some way- divine and life-affirming all-in-one.
The glowing skin of a woman looking back at you in adoration. Google a portrait of Beatrice Lanci by Elisabetta Sirani Retrato– power-in-beauty-and-vulnerability.
The moment a mother, daughter, sister, friend or love places her hand on your arm in an act of reassurance. Automatic tears as instinctively she provides a gateway to your subconscious– healing.
The praying hands in the ‘Virgin in Prayer’ in royal blue by Sassoferrato is, in my opinion, the truest depiction of spirituality– an acknowledgement of the immaterial realm.
The grey underbelly of a cloud the split second before it rains. The source of life and beauty can simultaneously hold darkness and fury– goodness and malevolence coexist in nature.
Action over thinking and anti-perfectionism
In the process of striving towards a goal, however big or small, it's inevitable that we will feel uncomfortable and stressed when constantly reminded that we are only one-tenth of who we want to be. We are constantly at the foot of the mountain of our heroes and seeing a way forward seems impossible and we often are left feeling hopeless and defeated. We repeatedly feel like giving up, but eventually, we muster up the courage to try again. Only to fail at the first hurdle and the cycle repeats itself. Sound familiar?
We have all experienced a version of this in some shape or form at some point in our lives. Usually the precursor to an advert for your new six pack or how to become a millionaire in two years following my online strategy. Yeah? You've heard it all before and I can assure you I have to. I’m not here to try and sell you something or to convince you everyone else has been lying to you. What you are reading is a note-to-self. A personal reminder that nothing is perfect. Nor will it ever meet your expectations. But that's a good thing. This is a note that I thought may be helpful to my future self, and perhaps someone else who struggles with getting out of their head and getting things done. It sounds banal and obvious. But it's a widespread issue. Particularly in the creative community. This is a note for the person whose big idea is only a note on their phone or a drunken conversation at the pub with their friend.
In considering any goal, whether it be business, writing, making music, or even fitness, they are all in some way a creative act. They are all underlined by governing principles which underpin a successful project. Regardless of subject, size or time. There are key things to consider whether it be at the beginning, middle or end of a project. The following notes aim to provide insight, and inspiration and remind you that anything is possible when you disregard perfection, and accept and face your fear of failure:
Doing it is more than half the battle. Action over thinking.
It will often never look, feel or sound like what you imagined. It might be better than you could ever have imagined. Make a start and see what happens. You never know what might happen and more often than not, you will be pleasantly surprised.
A project might sound good on paper, so much so that you spend weeks on it to find out that it doesn't work– that's ok. Instead of scrapping it, go back to the drawing board and figure out what does work and start again. It's not failure, it's a key part of the development process. The only mistake is to give up.
There are two key phases or modes of creating. Playing and arranging. Scribbling and editing. Sketching and amending. Use your heart first and your head later. Emotion drives the initial creation and logic drives refinement. Don't confuse the two and learn what process works for you.
Ignore all preconceptions of what your work or any future work of yours should be. Preconceptions ruin the ability to play and explore. This can not only restrict one's work but totally ruin it before it gets off the ground. Always start with an open mind.
Beginning is always the hardest part. Don't forget, it's just a start. You may like it, or may not. It has no bearing on the rest of the work to come. Nor does anyone have to see it.
Most disciplines will require a computer. However, staring at it and expecting it to create something brilliant will not help. In my experience, it's mostly a hindrance. Try closing your eyes or focusing on something physical. Whatever it takes to get your mind into a lucid state– do it. And thoughts–ideas to come to you.
The sketch-ideation phase is key. Try to avoid editing as much as possible in this phase. Focus on getting down as many ideas as possible until you feel like you’ve got nothing left. You can always come back and add more if needed. The editing process will allow you to refine things. For now– write, write, write.
Next, is the editing phase. Something that often takes as much thought and planning as it does cutting and restructuring. It's important here to review your initial work and come up with a general plan of what you want the work to say or do. Highline editing is not ideal unless you have a clear picture in mind. Plan and execution.
 Understanding what you are trying to achieve before creating is fundamental.
Editing is a whole other stage of work. Whilst it is still creative. It's important to focus on what the work needs. Not to try and create what your preconception of the work was.
Your work will be in a constant state of flux. That is normal. Respond to the here and now and forget what came before (unless it's still relevant).
 Being focused on a project is paramount to its success. Not just for the time you are physically working on things, but all the time in between. There will be a lot of questions associated with the structure and detail of your project. If you are focused on that and not distracted, you will subconsciously solve these problems. You could be making a cup of tea or walking the dog and BOOM! Something you see or hear reminds you of this one detail and how you might amend your work to fit into the wider picture. Avoid pouring over needless details and let your subconscious do the work.
Don't underestimate the subconscious mind. It can work for you if you allow it to.
You’ve heard it before, but avoid distraction at all costs. In order to create good and meaningful work you must be present. And you can't be present if you are constantly checking your phone– switch it off or leave it in another room.
The creative process is symbiotic. Don't be afraid of including all ideas into one project. We all have the urge to cram in as many references and inspiration into our work for fear of losing that inspiration. Certain things will always move you and that's a part of you– it's your DNA. That might grow and change slightly but mostly it will always be the same. Try to allow a work to become singular and serve its one core purpose. Other projects will arise where you can express other ideas. Now is for making this one idea as good as it possibly can be.
You have gone through a majority of the process now and what you have created may not resemble what you had intended it to. But that's great, it's yours and it's original.
Whilst it is important to be proficient in making ‘big moves’. What some may call ‘big brush-strokes’ it's important to bear in mind the overall look and feel of something– this is key. However, the devil is in the details, so set aside a good time to focus on what these details are and how you might flesh them out.
For something to be real it has to exist and it cannot exist without you finishing it – finishing over perfection.
Going through all of the necessary steps to complete a project is pivotal to establishing creative freedom for yourself. Similar to life, things never get easy, but they do get easier. The more projects you do, the better your understanding of the process is and the less pressure you put on yourself as a project unfolds. An increase in productivity and satisfaction– perfect.
Make sure to keep notes, save references, and journal extensively. Whilst an idea might not fit into a project right now, it might fit into or become the core of another. Create a personal library of inspiration. You never know when you may need it.
Ideas often serve as a guide to other ideas i.e. one part of the project may tell you what the next part ought to be. Remain open-minded, listen to the work and give it what it needs. Often like a jigsaw puzzle, each piece will guide the next decision.
Work takes on a life of its own, let it lead you for as long as you can see a clear path and learn to put it down once it is finished.
Don't do what you think you should do or you think is ‘right’. Draw inspiration from the parts of your life that are private and personal, and your work will be raw and honest. At least if your work is not good (at the time) it will be honest.
Don't overthink shit. Let an initial emotion or idea guide you and start working with that. The rest will figure itself out.
No one idea is better than another, it's all about context. Find the right place for the right idea and it will work. Context, context, context.
Never throw away an idea. The part of it you like may be the part worth scrapping and there's actually something else in it that you could reuse at a later date.
A big part of the process is discovering what you like and love. Right down to the fine details. Each time you work on something and go through this somewhat agonising process you get closer to that crystal clear picture of what you love in said discipline. The process of finding your own voice. This may only be one or two things done in a very particular way, but those things can form the foundations of a language in your work which can lead to endless ideas moving forward. Always bear the bigger picture in mind.
Collaboration is a practice and requires a lot of practice. Ego often gets in the way and to the detriment of the work. You only have to be wrong once to realise that you're not the only one with good ideas and one conversation can lead to bigger and better things. Much more so than if you were in your bedroom alone working on something. Expand your horizons.
Don't forget, that we all have a desire to own the next best piece of technology or software but ultimately these things won't serve your work. It's not WHAT you use. It's all in HOW you do it.
Stop focusing on what others are doing and focus on your work. If you can't focus on what you're doing it is a good idea to rethink your whole approach. Your work should be exciting enough to be engaging and inspirational to you.
Copying serves as a basis for learning but not as a sustainable method for building a career. Reappropriating and adopting methodology to suit your ideas is the goal. The ultimate goal is to develop your own methodology in doing so.
Focusing on the work and the goal over the working methodology itself is key. It's very easy to get lost in the details. But don't get lost, fluency in big ideas and details (simultaneously) is fundamental to mastery in all creative endeavours.
The antidote to completing your project is anti-perfectionism.
ICYMI
Shopping in Jail: Ideas Essays and Stories for the Increasingly Real 21st Century - Douglas Coupland
The book that somehow changed my life. Non-fiction at its best! A great example of an artist-cum-writer who offers a lot to the literary world because of his diverse background in the creative arts.
'A Bigger Splash', David Hockney, 1967
It's nothing short of cliché as it's on a poster in an IKEA frame in almost every Millennial home. Either way, the space and mystery created in this work is amazing.
Joni Mitchell in every way
Joni is actually a painter by trade, an all round art school girl. Her work is a good reminder that the best work often (in my opinion) comes from a place of curiosity and naivety. You don't need to be an expert – it's all about passion and creativity.Â
Caravanserai Studio - SantanaÂ
My favourite track is ‘Song of the wind’. It's an instrumental masterpiece. A good example of how a short song can not only speak a thousand words. But express something beyond words.Â
My Architect: A Son's JourneyÂ
A 2003 documentary film about the American architect Louis Kahn (1901–1974), by his son Nathaniel Kahn. Kahn (RIP) didn't become a successful and renowned architect until his early fifties– a reminder to never give up.
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